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Thursday, August 13, 2009

13 AUGUST 1830

Just got back from a wonderful workout with lots of reading on the bike. I did 6.81 miles, burnt 1109 calories and 65 minutes. I grabbed a quick shower and now I am back in my room. I am on page 400 of 540 and I am loving this book. I should have this in the mail for Robyn before I go on my holiday.

I keep forgetting to mention the video chat that I am going to have with Paul and Logan on Sunday morning. I was super bummed about not seeing them the last 2 weekends because Paul has no internet in the house right now because the modem got packed and also so did the webcam when he suggested I book the video teleconferencing thru the MFRC. He is so smart. So Sunday night at 2030 for me and 0900 for him we will get around 45 minutes before they have to go to church. I can't wait.

Paul said Logan says Shoes now. So cute. Mom said he was saying it when she was visiting and doing alot of imitating and being super cute.

I still wish Mom and Dad H would join us for a week or so in Europe. Would be a blast.

hmmm. Gonna read a little bit more and then watch a movie.

Tomorrow the 14th of August would have been my brother Raymond's 29th birthday. So hard to believe 7 years have gone by. The song "who you'd be today" I love. It is by Kenny Chesney and always reminds me of my bro. It makes me wonder if we could have just gotten through that rough patch the man he would be today. Handsome as ever I am sure. It is really odd but out of all my siblings, he is the one who was most like me. I always thought of him as the male version of me. Man did I wish he was a little girl when we were little so he could be my sister. He would always let me paint his nails. He was adorable. I was the only one who could understand what he was saying which delayed his speech since I did all of the talking for him. But he eventually talked. The main difference was that he was better with his hands and doing stuff. He was great at woodworking stuff and welding etc. Not me. But I am good at scrapbooking and cardmaking. I feel his presence at times but I haven't felt it for awhile. I know he was there when Logan was born. Logan was 10 lbs but he felt like a feather to me. It was like he was holding Logan up so I could hold him given my c-section. Then another time, I could feel him inside Logan looking at me with Logan's eyes. I know people will find this weird. And the other time was when I was in Winnipeg with Logan in the summer of 2008. We were with Papa (my Dad) and Dad looked both ways and didn't see any cars, so he started to cross the street. Logan and I were in the van. All of a sudden a car was coming right at Dad and almost hit him. At the last second some force which I believe was Raymond grabbed him and pulled him out of harms way. I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it. I immediately started crying. It was very emotional. My Dad almost got run over and killed but was saved. And just the way his body moved, was so unlike my Dad moving his own body. There was definitely a force present. Later Dad told me he agreed with me. My bro the angel watching over us all. I like to believe he is watching over me here keeping me safe and watching over all of my loved ones keeping them safe. I love you and I miss you. Wish you were here. xoxoxoxoxo To all of my family reading this, I am thinking of you and sharing your pain.

Love Rae-Lynn

1 comment:

Gillian said...

Beautiful post Rae-Lynn. I think it's wonderful that you still feel your brother's presence. It's stories like this that make me certain there is something out there much bigger than us. :) Miss you!